let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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