I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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