Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
