dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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