Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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