"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
