bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
