im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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