Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We smell like vodka and hangover
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
