I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
