When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
