this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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