I'm eating all of the evidence.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
