I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
