no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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