Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
