I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
How does one acquire holy water?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
