I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
