I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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