I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
