I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
