chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
