I didn't shave. On purpose
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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