i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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