we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
