Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
