I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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