hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
its liver damage thursday
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
