why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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