so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He passed out mid-signature
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
