I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
