Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
