New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
