I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
