I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
