shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
