I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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