i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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