So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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