they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
