All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You pole danced in your parka.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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