Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
