If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just got carded by a ten year old.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
