Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
