yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
