so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
