I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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