it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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