So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
