So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
